Whether in your ear or used as a Game Gear, the N-Gage never fails to impress

1989/1993

 

Ah, the N-Gage. Nokia didn't let it out the door without shipping considerable amounts of material to game outlets; some put up more than others (a local Babbage's placed the demo kiosk in a prominent place by the front door, and then promptly forgot about it; some stores were reportedly decked from head to toe in N-Gage materials). Nokia's early efforts at marketing the N-Gage were apparently guided by "reckonin' blind" and the various "facts" presented in a certain unnamed manual given out to retail stores for internal use only confirm this. The impact of disseminating the contents of this manual will never approach the revelation surrounding an infamous internal-use presentation at one of the GPU manufacturers slandering (and misrepresenting) their competition a few years back, but all the same this manual contains a few "gems" dangerously close to approaching the level of nonsense and misinformation of TTI's infamous Johnny Turbo campaign.

 

I personally hold no grudge against "Big N The Second of the Northern Country," and I even considered buying an alleged prototype N-Gage unit in November '03. Their most basic concept of a gaming device as also being a functional device is sound--yet everything comes apart in the shoddy execution. Before I consider the pages of the N-Gage's manual, let's look over some facts concerning the device:

 

 

Not too bad, but the ergonomics are an oft-cited source of discontent (mentioned everywhere from GameSpy.com to ZDNet.com), and the screen is disappointing. Personally, I thought the screen rather nicely sized and the whole unit not uncomfortable to handle. However, I was dealing with two units which were not operating properly and had no chance to play-test the thing or even mess around with the buttons much. One screen had the backlight off and another had a pattern resembling a moire on it--not the best way to determine if the screen is good or not.

 

Following are scans of the manual. The images largely speak for themselves, but some commentary accompanies these pictures to help navigate various inaccuracies or points of interest presented in the material.

 

 

This is the front cover of the manual. The manual is spiral bound and measures roughly 11 inches by 8 and 3/4 inches (sorry, I love the metric system too, but a metric ruler escapes me at the moment) and is made out of very thin sheets of a very smooth plastic coated paper. It is larger overall and printed on higher quality stock (apparently) than the Xbox Live information booklet used for the general public. Choice of paper and the Xbox Compatible program aside, the quality of work inside the actual N-Gage manual is very much lacking in comparison to the visually pleasing, informative, and wholly readable Xbox Live binder (which also needs its own section...yes, I'll be on top of that).

 

After the cover we are confronted by a black sheet with the N-Gage logo in white and red printed on both sides; a tab is affixed which reads "What makes N-Gage Unique?" The next page has the following chart:

 

(Click for larger image)

 

No marketing materials are properly finished without a chart with vast oversimplifications and slapdash pasted graphics, are they? Ignoring the apparent assertion that the Game Gear and Neo Geo Pocket Color are viable players in the handheld market, we see an implied admittance that the N-Gage is not meant for providing a "compelling" (this I will translate to mean "immersive") game experience, and shows that the Nokia folks have little patience for handheld RPGs, Pokemon, and Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow, all titles that have done very well for Nintendo. Denying games like Final Fantasy Tactics Advance have a place on your handheld underlines an inherent lack of understanding at what's driving the handheld market.

 

It is also important to mention that all three consoles marked on the "negative" axes of this graph have strong online communities and support. Perhaps no Kerafym has been slain in the PS2 online EverQuest, but an MMORPG is something the N-Gage is not likely to have. GameCube players are still having a blast with broadband modems and Phantasy Star Online, and the notable nonappearance of the PC-based Xbox with its comprehensive online service is not bringing us any closer to forgetting that these devices are very capable of online play.

While I understand how Nokia might be reluctant to compare their device with the many PDAs and Handheld PCs on the market, it is worth nothing that Nokia's relatively early entry into the game has by no means stemmed the flow of products that follow in its footsteps (but no doubt with more refined particulars) such as the Tapwave or the GPS-capable Windows CE-based Tiger console recently announced. PlayStation 2's "first to market" has long been seen as a reason for that console's success, but here the Nokia N-Gage appears too quickly rushed out the door (among other things). Thus we can safely discount the "fixed" status of PCs, and wonder why PCs are separate from the "www" nebula. It is sheer dishonesty to pretend that desktop computers are not the prevalent and preferred method of internet access, and it seems that the corporate design committee were dishonest with themselves when they took the stance made all too apparent here: People will prefer a device that does nothing excellently, but does everything poorly. With Handheld PCs you have a clear-cut set of advantages and tradeoffs to the format; here, you have a confusing accumulation of features that do not translate well to the tiny screen and winged design.

 

-- That concludes Day One. I will continue to expand this document over the next few days, taking this large document in chunks, and will keep everyone informed of my progress.